Love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.proverbs 8:17
I remember an ex would tell me not to take things to heart and would critique so many things about me that I never really felt good enough for him.
A friend that I thought was a friend accused me of something that is completely out of my character.
I met someone new once and they would tell me not to swear so much…
There was no freedom in who I was as a person and who I wanted to be at one point in my life. I think that was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself. I think had I felt better about myself, I would have had different reasoning and a completely different mindset.
And that was also evident by how those were around me were treating me. All because of how I felt about myself.
The problem we have is our lack to empathize with other people. AThe fact that we are too expecting of them to change instead of taking them as they are.
Do not try to change something about someone that in nature isn’t threatening to you. Do not try to change something about someone to accommodate you. Do not change the things about that person that make them who they are. If someone doesn’t suit me, it’s ok. I will keep the shit moving because I am in no position to lose sleep over how someone else feels or doesn’t feel about me.
Imagine yourself walking through a path we will call life, and how you treat/feel about yourself determines how ‘sticky’ your skin is.
In other words, if you have low self esteem, your body is covered in stickiness because everything you encounter is going to stick to you. Why? Because of how you feel about yourself. On the other side, if you have a high self esteem, your body isn’t sticky at all. You might encounter one or two feathers along the way that stick to you.. but for the most part nothing sticks to you. Your “layer” gets thicker because of the feathers. Each and every feather that is on you is masking what’s underneath… the true you. Every feather represents someone else’s opinion about you. And if you know anything about feathers (thankfully I do lol); every single feather is not like another. The same is true for each person’s perspective, thoughts of you and what they say about you based on that information. So what do you do? If you had to pick each feather off of your body one by one, that would take a lot of time right? It would even take a bit of self discovery for you to get the courage to get rid of the feathers weighing you down, but eventually you would realize how much other people and their thoughts and opinions don’t fucking matter. Eventually a ‘weight’ would be lifted off of you.
Stop letting other people who feel like shit about themselves bring you down. It’s not fair to you to sit down and take someone else’s shit just because they think you deserve it. There isn’t a reason in this world that you cant say no to allowing those feathers stick to you. It is important for you to understand that your love for yourself takes over the love someone else has for you. The science behind that is really about loving yourself and letting that radiate. Everything else will follow.
A date a couple months ago involved a conversation that went like this:
The guy said “I don’t like women who drink.”
I stared at him for a second…”Care to elaborate?”
“I just don’t like women who drink. I think its a nasty habit. My mother was an alcoholic…” he said
So, I took another sip of my fucking Jameson on the rocks and proceeded to enjoy the hell out of that sip. I looked at him and then looked at his beer. Yup, you read right. He had a beer! I couldn’t believe this guy. Here’s what I said: “So what you’re saying is your mother was an alcoholic, and because of that you feel the need to put a sexist one sided standard on women you encounter? I am not your mother, and I just don’t think that’s a fair thing to say.” I never called him again.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself.