December 2019 – ELAUNDRA.COM ©️2008

Nigerian, Irish, German, Mali, Congo, British, Spanish and more is the mixture 🙂 Raised by multicultural humble humans. I don’t resonate with a bigotry-sourced rhetoric in life. I love singing all types of music. Just as much love all types of people.

Full disclosure, because although I dream of love all the time, I don’t ever want to get too wrapped up in daydreaming. I do find it best to tell you this.

I have been celibate for 10 months, and single for 2 years. I go back to being celibate and single all the time because of a lack of respect from men and women in life most times. I refuse to cower and deal with disrespect. So I will stay alone if I have to. A major part of that is the lack of trust in people. I am working through chronic depression and PTSD and have had it for years. I draw away from people and isolate a lot. I often don’t know how to trust you due to my doubts about your honesty and my inability to trust or open up to you.

Most times people give you the excuse that they don’t know what to do to help you. Sometimes that’s a lie. Some people know and help and they do their best to help honestly and intuitively. Others sit back, know how to help but don’t care to help. I have no responsibility for someone saying they missed out on me.

Never married. Never had to sign a paper to love free.

And I don’t care to divulge in self-hatred for how people want to make me feel. I love me and work to love me more and more everyday. I have always bought myself a ring and worn it in place of a wedding ring for my own peace of mind. Commitment to myself.

Read more on how I work through my traumas here

Dear Reader,
Some topics in life are sensitive. Most times in friendships and relationships, I was not met with people who understood my writings and poetry; let alone wanted to dive deeper into the way I feel. Or why I feel the way I do. Why I write the way I do. Albeit I am a mother, sister, daughter, etc. I would be told to 'Forget the past" or met with narcissistic assumptions of my intents via writings. Instead of understanding how massive my heart is and how sensitive and emotional I really am as a woman. I am quite a talkative person in fact. I have been isolating myself for strength since being hit by a car in October 2023. I lost inspiration in life, and was advised to seek help at a psychiatric facility. I stayed to myself and read the bible.Feeling like I needed to remove myself from energy that was stifling my creativity and bringing me down. For so long, I felt like I had nothing. Nobody cared. But that's how some communities and people groom you. Later remembering all the words I speak. Words in my heart. Words in my soul. Therefore not alone. -EL'AUNDRA Instagram Profiles:
Carpentry: @femininerenovations
Cooking: @twinkitchenllc
Poetry: @younghumblepoet
Photography: @dolcerougephotography
Personal: @moderndivinemuse

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I Know Me Poem

December 17, 2019 / Comments Off on I Know Me Poem

Some men don’t respond well to rejection.

I am kind and firm.

But I operate by standing up for what I want.

It’s not my responsibility as a woman,

to feel obligated to be with anyone out of sympathy.

I know what I want.

I know me.

read more

El'Aundra

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