Try, try again
Always challenging my thinking, I like to adhere to standards create growth. This year was frantic. Felt rushed. Felt like you were standing in line, not quite knowing what it is that you are standing in line for. You know it is something. But the fact that you are unable to see anything that is going on makes it harder for you to move in your day to day life.
You get stressed. Worried. Anxious. Panicked. It’s a toll in itself. It is not something for the faint of heart. You truly have no idea what’s next. Either because you have not been shown the way, lost it or cannot find it. No matter the circumstance, you are here. Here in the pile of abundance of frantic humans just like you.
They are baiting you. Waiting for you to reach that downfall just so that they may create a fear in you to end it completely. End the fight. End your life. That’s what they seek. What they live for. What they want. They themselves must assume a position of power over another (either a weak adult, or child) so that they may inflict pain. Have you met them yet? I am positive they showed their asses in 2020, didn’t they? I bet there were people you never thought would be the way that they were. So insecure. So annoying. So ignorant. So pressured.
Now we have approached the end of the year and you should have been able to search back through the past months and see what exactly is the issue. What do you think happens when you are attempting to desecrate someone? Violate another human? I thought about this in the shower this morning…how you treat another person speaks volumes about how you are as a person. What you do does matter, but nobody wants a diamond ring from a narcissistic, insecure person. There just isn’t enough glue there. There isn’t enough glue with any of those people. Which is why they never stuck in my life. They never stayed. They were weak.
Strength is so many things to me. It is the ability to sit in the face of adversity and maintain. Nobody is saying that you have to balance something on your head that’s called “maintaining”… it is just so important to ask for help when you need it. Lean on those whom you can count on. Be a better version of yourself than you were the day before. It also is not up to another person who doesn’t have your best interest at heart to point out what you are doing “wrong.” They are not here for you. That much is clear. Maintaining is going through life and moving in a way that allows you to learn from your mistakes or things done to you. I love to hear from people how they don’t associate with people who go through problems in life. Good. Don’t associate with me. No funeral, I won’t hold you.
If you truly feel you have something to do with someone’s life path so much as to say that you judge and condemn them for the struggles present in their life; you aren’t who you think you are. You are anything but great. They aren’t you. You aren’t them. Why does it matter. Are they asking you for help constantly? Are you enabling them? What are you gaining by judging them? Are you getting aroused? These are valid questions. You must enjoy seeing others in pain if you can say that statement. Otherwise you would have compassion, be kind and steadfast that you can influence a positive change but instead just choose to be a negative asshole. Minding your own business is a good start.
And amongst all of this going on in 2020, I am still here. Still standing. Ready to fight. Ready to understand on a deeper level who you are as a person. There are empathetic souls in this world that attract Luciferian type energy. They are so draining. Nothing that comes from them is pure. They are always a feeling of hatred or lying in your presence. You can feel their disdain and displeasure with you. No matter how much they say they care or they love. Never-mind that. Because in their mind, it’s all about them.
I want you to understand something. This year has to teach you something about yourself that you never knew. And that hits both sides of the coin. Dark and Light. Good and Evil. When someone sends you hatred, you take that in. It is then up to you if you want to make that your reality or not. Just because they say it to you doesn’t make it true; you don’t have to make it a reality. Do not give it life. That is where I have fucked up all these years. Giving life to opinions of others. Giving life to fucks that should have never been given.
My Mantra DAILY:
Do not allow yourself to complete someone else’s dream. You are not here for them. You are something without them. You are anything without them. You are everything with yourself. All is but an addition if it not be your children. You are magnificent. You are regal. You are unattainable due to lack of strength in them. You are precisely abundant in faith. Abundant in joy. Abundant in love. Abundant in life. You are something special without them too, just know you can be better. And being better takes time. It takes willingness to see the side of yourself that has fallen. It is they who have deceived you into thinking you cannot get up. You can get up. You will get up. You are quintessence.
And on we move. Let’s not even consider it a breath of air that we need to be in the same space with.
Amazing. You never disappoint. I love reading what you write.