Who I Am
I had thoughts about how my website relaunch was going to go this most recent time…But when I woke up this morning to hundreds of emails and DM’s from sponsorships and prospective clients, colleagues, classmates, strangers and friends; it confirmed that support is so important. My lack of support has kept me living in fear. And fear is the enemy. I think for so long I have been afraid of telling my story. Of even letting anyone into what or who I really am. So I prayed. Prayed that I would find the words.
Communication is something that I have always valued because I know what it is like to live without being able to communicate. By the age of 3, I had an accident where I fell from a 3rd story window in Cuba Ny and suffered a TBI, along with broken bones and losing every form of communication I had known; rendering me submissive to relearning. Art and words were my comfort. Writing and painting/drawing gave me a freedom. My grade school model was Montessori. My mother knew what she was doing because it gave me a voice.
It reaffirmed that I am a miracle. A very special miracle. To her, and the world. God knew what he was doing when he allowed me to live. Rest in peace, some aren’t as fortunate. And even though she couldn’t possibly save me from every hardship that would come my way in life, she massaged a gift I can carry for the rest of my life…a way to express myself. So I have always been attracted to music, art and writing. With me excelling at all of them.
I lost sight of my capabilities for a few years. I lost my vision and my faith. Not only my faith in myself, but my faith in God. I started realizing that the missing piece was not to be found in a man or material. None of those things can gibe me what my children, and life can give me.
All of the baggage that I had been carrying for 30 years crashed on my one day. When I was 30. I had suddenly come to a halt. There was no moving forward. There was no continuation. There was only a hole. And I had to climb out of it. Regardless of my involvement in digging it.
My perspective changed recently when I realized that I have a platform that I can take ownership of. I am sitting on my therapy. Sitting on my way out. My voice. I remember that day 11 years ago when I bought this domain, that I would start a blog that would help people. Somehow. Even just one person.
Not many people can do what I can. And even you need to tell that to yourself. Because my telling that to myself is what saved me. Because then I was able to hear God talking to me. People don’t realize that being jealous, or degrading someone for their efforts to improve their life or play on their talents/strengths is not helping. That does not help someone. And your karma just might be someone not helping YOU.