The Workplace As A Workzone

I like my peace at work.

I have worked in so many various work environments that it’s easy to see and call out what I will and won’t deal with. I just don’t have any interest in coming to work on some bullshit. I’m always amazed at the shitty spirited shit people bring to the workplace.

I remember walking into work wearing my Grandmother’s Red Wool Coat. Much like Red Riding Hood I’m sure they thought. That coat is so beautiful. Turns heads every time I wear it. It was Valentines Day too. There was this lady at my job that I low key couldn’t stand. I just didn’t like how she acted when I first met her. I kept my distance for the most part and did my work. She would initiate conversations sometimes and after a while I realized maybe I was a little harsh on judging her.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND.

I don’t compete with other women. I just let you think I’m in the race. This is not a competition. You lost when I walked in, if you’re coming with that energy. Most times there is a slight assumption that I am a pretty, quiet, mousey bitch. A girl that won’t say anything to you. Needs to deal with this shit. No. Just letting you spew your ideals and thoughts wherever you shall desire? I think not.

I had only been employed at this job for a couple of weeks. It was not at all the job was bad or hard. It was a great job. The woman just had something slick, ignorant and disrespectful every single time I came into work. She was white. Unknowledgeable. Privileged. Un-attending. Annoying. Interrogating, not Intimidating. She was more than intrusive with her questions that day.

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL.

We got to talking about children. So I showed her a picture of my children. Only after she had shared numerous photos of her family.

“Awe, how precious. Such beautiful eyes. Is his father white?”

I was dumbfounded. And irritated. See, that’s some shit I have no interest in entertaining let alone answering. It’s so unnecessary for me to lend an ear to what just came out of your mouth. There is no reason for me to think that she didn’t mean this. She meant what she said. She didn’t know any better? Lies. I tend to think you get too old to be outwardly ignorant. You just don’t give a fuck. You take it to another level. A level you can’t come back from when you are unable to retract what you’ve said. Then you want to get defensive. Once you are called out on it.

Let down your defensiveness. There is no reason. We are the ones who should be defensive. I was defensive to what she said. I also went ant dried later. At that point it wasn’t that I didn’t understand what she had just said to me. It was just that I couldn’t believe it. And it made me so angry. I really wanted to punch her. This turned into a conversation that I eventually had to leave. I felt like she was attaching me for being single, black (especially that it was valentines day; and I was single), for being a single mother and she had the nerve to call me worldly. That was only after I told her about the heritage and ethnicity running through my veins. She proceeded to blanket and cover (or what she thought she did) the offensive things she said to me; by telling me that her daughter was married to a Black man from Nigeria. As if I am supposed to care? You don’t get to do that Karen.

Is she fucking serious?

As you can imagine, it was a rough day. It was a tough conversation with HR, who gave ZERO fucks because she had been in the radiology department for over 35 years. It was evident that I wasn’t a concern of theres. This white woman in her 60s who had been there really long was more important. There was no value put on putting her in her place. There was no regard for the pain she just caused. There was no remorse for the words she said. There was no consequence for her actions. And most. of all there was no other choice for me to make other than quit. I felt like I owed it to myself to not want to be around her ugly ass any longer.

Outsiders will look and think “quit? how could you?!” But I did it because I felt like I had to do it. I felt like I was running a race I didn’t sign up for. And at this point in my life I was looking for peace. I tend to think that situations that are meant for me will find me and work themselves out.