I became less concerned with how someone looked and more concerned with how they looked at me as I came into self recently.
I took such a deep dive when I realized that even some of the best looking men from my past were the ones who treated me like I didn’t matter.
Looked at me as if there was no genuine appreciation for me.
They were the ones who only wanted me for what I could do for them.
They only cared about publicly entertaining the girls that begged for their attention while they secretly entertained me.
Playing with my emotions constantly.
But the ‘track’ that’s already been ran through [them] is the path they chose… vs a yellow brick road [me]? Bruh…
What I didn’t realize at the time is that [the right] a real man would be proud to show me off. He shouldn’t WANT to hide me at home. It wasn’t fair to me when I was treated like that. It really wasn’t. It was pretty fucked up honestly. But those lessons carry me through everything I deal with now.
And these are the men who apologize now and want to get back together with me… want to know what I tell them?
I tell them no. I want better. I want someone who just knows he needs to hold on to me while he has me because he might never get that chance again. I don’t want someone who finally realized they made a mistake in how they treated me years prior; asking for a second chance. I’m glad for your sake that you matured and apologize. But I’m good on that.