I was sitting and thinking about getting the chips of paint off the stairs I was asked to clean. It’s work. And work is good. But what isn’t good is the energy I give myself. I talk to myself in such a way that is so awful and mean. Sometimes I want to be left alone. I don’t understand at times what people’s boundaries in life might be. In life we make an accident sometimes or we just have this idea that we were what most people would consider flawed. We spoke our honesty. You might not have meant to. You might not have known what the issues might have…

This was written on May 6, 2024. The perfect music to go along with this poem would be Alstad, Yana Chekina- The Seagull It was the absence of love in the first place. A lie that you told me there was no race. No race for your heart. No race for your soul. Walking around lost. Nobody that I deemed my whole. All I wanted was a family to fall in love with. A place for me to call home. I give win to the abstract. A lean to the depth. And so under that bush across from Upstate Farms, On the ground May 2023 I wept. I wept for…

Can I tell you how beautiful I already am? How beautiful I want to be? Can I also tell you what I’m running from. I’m running from a world that’s evil. That world was my past. I always felt beauty. I always relished in my way to captivate an audience. To take people by storm and win. That’s the goal. But the right way. The demonic tense always told me that the demon was at me from where i was coming from. It was someone close to me. So I started thinking that I’m losing this person. He would tell me that my mother is evil. And I was like…