Dolce Rouge Photography

Developed in 2012. I remember my first camera being bought was an old school Panasonic. From the 1990’s. It was in a tan leather bag. Someone had stolen it out of my house. And I started to throw people out of my life. I had camera equipment stolen in 2013 after a Domestic Violence dispute with someone from my past. After that issue it took about a good 5-7 years for me to pick up a camera again, be comfortable and look at humans the same. I had always been my own photographer. I didn’t and still don’t trust people to a certain extent. And sometimes I would love to have the opportunity to ask someone, how am I supposed to trust you? Do you have a good reason for me to do so?

I had a sense of disgust at that point. It was not pointed towards the lens. I walked into Rae-Lin camera store. A home place for me. They knew me well and knew what I was looking for. I had done business with them since 2012. I bought another camera around 2018. Gave that one to my brother. And around the time of the assault in 2013. I had given a camera to a guy I was in love with. For all I knew and cared, he could have given that to another woman. And nothing would have mattered either way. I was distraught. As any strong woman would be. I was always crying all the time. Upset. Doing everything, I could control my anger. Knowing it’s uncontrollable sometimes. And I didn’t want to manifest harm on this person. But I had to leave. I had to run. And I left Syracuse. Without much of a warning and in less than 24 hours. I didn’t have anywhere or anyone to turn to. I drove 3 hours away for peace and safety. Or so I thought. Karmatic control. Passive attention to detail. There was none. I mattered as much as the dumpster outside my apartment. And I felt like someone doing that to me, amongst other things was just one more reason for me to have a story about being “strong” and for me to realize I can do bad on my own. I reinvented many of the old posts that I had. Photos and more. I have begun the healing process and will be back to normal soon. I lost my storage unit in September. They admitted me to a Psychiatric Ward. I went down there because I was having head pains from when my head was smashed in the pavement during an altercation with a man I was seeing. Visually, I was seeing myself committing suicide 6-8 specific and graphic ways that I could not bear. I reached out to those I needed desperately and went about my way. The up-climb is that I was reading Proverbs and Psalms and have just been at peace with God. And his blessings. So I am more than willing to share my story and how Photography became a passion for me. I was in Photography class in Middle School. Dark room etc. I have quite the extensive background. I do not boast. I am humble and thankful for the talents I do have and clients that love me doing photos for them when I do have the chance.

Disheveled memories…

I talk more about what happened in a series I will be announcing soon.

El’Aundra