Enamored Winds

I would have liked to had more time. More songs to sing. Music being the one thing that allows me to feel free, and comfortable alone on my own. I never understood what it was, that peacefulness. I just passed it up as an energy because of who we were as people. Standing by the tennis courts, talking to my Aunt about work and what we were up against with creative projects. Arguable, it was one of the hardest times of my life. I think it was the not knowing as much as I wanted to know about the past and not being able discern where I had gotten things wrong. I had always loved being outdoors. Being alone in the woods. Roaming the woods with friends. Swimming in the creeks. I have just always loved being the country girl at heart. My desire to be one with nature. I remember the way I felt when I saw that beam of light in front of me. Bright, bright, bright, bright. Neon bright. I had given myself so much credit for being able to drink that in. I remember running up after thinking to myself “You need something to remember me by. I don’t want you to ever forget me.”

I went into my bag. I pulled out a pass to my heart. And I gave it to the wind. Hoping it would carry it away as if to create a world with me in it. The wind heals. The wind carries currents across borders. Crossing the ways of all inhibitions. Creating waves of relief. Creating a thump in my heart. What the wind does to me nobody knows, because I am the only one that feels it. But it took my breath away. Because you are the wind. And it’s taken my heart ever since. I wanted to ask do you know what this is? Is this something and I am just not seeing it? Is the wind trying to speak a love language to me. I don’t want to give up on this. This feeling of delight blanketed around me. It was such an intoxicating experience. As if a man that played the safety position on a football team can create safety for you in life. Can you keep me safe like the wind I ask? Can you be a wall, a force for me? When in reality, I have always written in my mind and heart that your husband is the safest man you have been with. The wind is my husband. Safety meaning you would be keeping an overall watch on everything else. Just like the wind. Taking my breath away when you carry me all the way down the field in your hands to reach a goal. It’s the same in life. The wind takes you away. Because you deserve it. And so do I. I deserve the type of love that’s so goddamn beautiful it makes you want to cry. I love the wind. Wiping tears from my eyes as I picked up my scarf off the ground… and the wind loves me.

I would give my heart to you I would. Make a way for you I would. Because you can be safe for me and you should. I tell the truth about how I feel for the greater good. And if I could be made for someone like the wind, I would. Never stray, and always loyal faithful and good. I would not say no to you, trusting in you as the lighthouse on top of the hill shining on the open seas while I navigate the world. Commit to the wind forever I would. Like Pocahontas dancing in the fields, like every woman feeling those butterflies of love should. Wind, to me you are good. Be the wind.