The Fear Of Nothing

I was sitting and thinking about getting the chips of paint off the stairs I was asked to clean. It’s work. And work is good. But what isn’t good is the energy I give myself. I talk to myself in such a way that is so awful and mean. Sometimes I want to be left alone. I don’t understand at times what people’s boundaries in life might be. In life we make an accident sometimes or we just have this idea that we were what most people would consider flawed. We spoke our honesty. You might not have meant to. You might not have known what the issues might have been with you. With what you said. With what you’re doing. And it’s so sad that people exist who are there in such a way to distribute their insecurities on your life. You broke me and I returned to work broken. Unfiltered. Washed up. Wading by the cliff…to jump into the waterfalls of peace. Of presence. Of entanglements in happiness. Relax. Unwind. Be free. Actively entertaining the essence of growth and consideration for myself. It hurt. There was so much missing in me. Something forever gone and me forever guilty. Guilty of insecurities. And faith. Faith in me. Faith in the past. Faith in the present. Faith in the future. I didn’t realize that someone else would feel uncomfortable about my using my talent. But you don’t realize what your craft is to you isn’t the same to someone else. I get tired of misconceptions. I was pregnant. And I was going through such a mental turmoil in my life at the time, I just couldn’t get my footing. I kept slipping. We all fall, sometimes in emotions. But it’s how we get up that matters the most.