When I fell in love with airplanes, ships and cars
Why my mind is more engineering based; analytical.
What my Montessori Elementary School was like.
Why I love beer.
Why I loved carpentry, auto-cad and woodshop as a kid.
My grandmother died, and I broke down before graduation
Why I have chosen celibacy since 2011 off and on.
if I could create my own world
Veneers… The Journey to begin
My Nana said your heart has to be a man’s home
I WAS HIT BY A CAR IN 2023 IN SYRACUSE NY

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Define Yourself

July 16, 2018 / Comments Off

I figured I needed to make sure,

That I was competent and confident in who I was.

My passion for myself proved itself to me.

When I defined myself by vowing not to do anything.

Be anything.

Want anything.

Entertain anything.

Or be involved in anything I wasn’t passionate about.

This remains vital to my happiness.

El'Aundra

Poetic

EL'AUNDRA

WRITER

Daily Affirmation: My heart is always open to give and receive love. ‘You’ as in a multiplication of people I have encountered and had affiliations with throughout the year. Miguel Ruiz has a principle DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONAL ❤️ I have many times over been through what you have either put me through, have been through yourself or never experienced. Some topics might be sensitive and resonate. I do not lie about dates or anything I write. It's all in truth. I do not steal writings from someone else. I have written since I had nothing else to do at 2 years old after falling out of a 3rd story window. I would have thought that there would have been more of a scenery on this road to this point. Leveled by trenches of heartbreak, taken under by waves of grief. Experiencing every type of anguish possibly known to man. And yet my face only brought some men pleasure while they were in the arms of another woman. My aura was only enough for them to want to hurt me because they hated my voice. Carrying torches of stained experiences. Wallowing in the depth of my shame because of how your hatred for not only me, but yourself; made me see the light. But little did they know, that's literal, metaphorical and figuratively speaking. And I know you hate me, that's why I never stopped writing about how you made me feel. Thats important in the healing process. I always had fashion, singing, sewing, art, and many other creative things in my life that gave me happiness before the heartbreak. So it's imperative that I get this out... inspire others through Makeup, Fashion, etc just as I did in 2009. Living in Charlotte North Carolina opening up products being sent to the house for me to review.❤️

Given The CircumstancesNovember 25, 2008
“What about him Lonnie?” “Really?” I said. “He isn’t exactly my type and he looks like he is a player.” “He’s not. He’s a really good dude. A big strong dude.” “Hmmmm… I just don’t think he can handle me. I said to my cousin. She was trying to set me up with this absolutely gorgeous dreamboat that was love at first sight. So it started there. It was more of an if, when and why. It started with hello and how are you. But something about him felt hard to me. It seemed like he needed to be softened. He was just so edgy. But I loved it. And I am not used to that type of man. He has a great smile. just not the type of insatiable chemistry I am looking for. I got his phone number and we texted back and forth.
ConsumedMay 31, 2012
You couldn’t tell me anything back then. Especially if it had to do with him. But as time grew on my perception of him grew to be exceedingly thin. Through empty promises, and meaningless gifts; was how my heart allowed me to feel like this. Like a bagel with a corner chewed off in preparation to be consumed; my remaining heart was-as a result of his hunger for selfishness-left nothing but doomed. (Adapted from my poem called ‘Ace’)
Sinking (2012)June 17, 2012
Sinking with the notion And yet the inquisitive decision puts my choice in motion. Move says those who can’t stay still Stay says those who are comfortable at will Take says they who give nothing in return Give says those who feel they have so much to learn Wandering hearts, lonely people Young and restless, yet immature and feeble…minded are we Yet foolish in love…Still, solitude and awareness Is what we dream of.
The NookJuly 30, 2012
Broken from the way you loved Feigning for real love…not like… But strike…me with your truth. Hide me in this booth… Called your nook. From which I took. A break that had such depth. Such depth from which I was kept… Captivated by that space. This special place. Where your arm meets your side. And the hair growing in this region is a sign of pride. Oh how I…long for a longer time. But got you now, let your love be like wine. Let me drink you sweet. The temptation of moving I shall keep, keep, keep.
Wait For My LoveAugust 15, 2012
Wait…wait for my love dear pretty. Once the wait is over, my love will be good and plenty. Plenty of good…Hard, long love for you. And a passion known as unbelievably true. Let me stroke you with the feather of desire. Let me build a ladder with which from the cloud 9 you’re on. You can only go higher. Scream once for the way my heart yearns for your emotion. Scream ten times if in this love making, you feel my devotion…oh this ocean…wait… Baby wait for my love.

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