Stand Still

I probably would have sat there at the bus stop waiting longer for him if I hadn’t called.

It was winter for sure and NY was frigid as fuck.

But the only reason I called him was to let him know I was boarding.

And would be there in a couple hours.

I’ll be damned if he’s excited, because it didn’t seem like it.

We’d been dating casually for a few months.

He was confusing to me.

I don’t like being confused.

We used to have so much fun together but he never thought I was funny.

And that hurt.

But then I’m such a great person to him.

So since humor is a part of me.

And he isn’t appreciative of it.

He’s not meant to breathe my air.

If the doesn’t appreciate that.

Where does the roundabout stop?

It was a cyclical life of chaos we entertained because we were dating.

Busy schedules wouldn’t stop us from what we wanted.

But it wasn’t eachother.

I gave him so much of myself.

I never saw a sacrificial effort made on my behalf.

That bothered me.

‘Don’t I deserve to be treated the way I treat you?”

I would ask myself in the mirror.

Little did I know that would never happen.

I felt cheated

I had given my beauty to someone who didn’t deserve it.

Because he had no balls.

He wasn’t a man.

A real man would know better.

Note: I know this day means something to the both of us. This poem is not about you. This is about someone else.❤️